React Mobile's new Follow Me feature~priddymomma

React Mobile has a new Follow Me feature for Smartphone users.  You can send an S.O.S. signal to a preselected group of friends, family, and authorities with a single touch in the case of emergency, tracing your GPS location instantly.  You can also send an alert to friends and family if you are going somewhere and are concerned for your safety, but it isn’t a definite that you will be in danger (i.e. going on a jog alone).  These contacts can follow your real time GPS and make sure you are headed home when you are supposed to be.  When you get to your destination, you click “I’M SAFE” and it lets your contacts know you are well.  It also allows you to report emergencies and criminal activity.

I am all for making safety convenient, but if you are a regular reader, you’ll recall that I mentioned personal alarms and my hesitation to promote them.  On the one hand, drawing attention to yourself lessens the likelihood of your attacker sticking around and increases the likelihood of help arriving.  On the other hand, you are still being attacked.  It doesn’t turn into a big vicious dog with the push of the button.  It is still your primary responsibility to know how to protect yourself.  This is my fear with this React Mobile app.  Yes, this is an amazing technology that has huge potential to protect and maybe even save lives, but I want women to take their safety seriously and not rely on their phones so much.  In a real emergency where a woman is actively being attacked, what are the odds that she will have time to push this button?  It requires a level of prediction that is impossible.  If you know you are about to be attacked when you walk down the next street, wouldn’t it be smarter to take another street?  If you feel intuition poking you in the back about a situation, get out of it!  Intuition is your built in personal app!

Another issue I have with the app is the maybe-I’ll-be-in-danger part.  If you are going on a jog alone, send out a message to friends and family so they can track your GPS.  If you aren’t where you should be, they’ll alert authorities.  Read the fine print here.  If you get kidnapped, they will be able to tell that you were taken from the location you were supposed to be in, assuming they are watching their phone, and your kidnapper hasn’t tossed it some place.  If you are attacked or you fall and are hurt, your friends and family will only be able to tell you aren’t moving anymore.  How can they tell the difference between you fighting for your life and you taking a breather?  There’s some assumed follow up with a phone call or text, I guess.  And if you make an error and forget to let them know you are safe, you’ve freaked them out for no reason.  Forget more than once and the app is useless.  They’ll just assume you forgot again if you go off grid.

So as near as I can figure, this is only really useful if you are kidnapped and your kidnapper didn’t toss the phone.  In this case, which is rare might I add, the authorities will be able to find your phone.  They can’t protect you, however, until they get there.  Again, this is still your responsibility!  If you don’t take it seriously, then the app is just going to track down your body. 

In the pictures advertising this app, the women are jogging and wearing headphones, or walking alone at night.  Awareness saves lives!  If you could hear your attacker coming, you stand a better chance of surviving.  Period.  If you use the buddy system instead of walking anywhere alone (or exercising by yourself), especially at night, you are less likely to become a victim.  Period.

This is really rough for me to draw a finite line on, but I’ll give it a shot.  If you are going to be lazy about your safety, this is a great app to have.  If you want to truly be safe, be smart about where and when you travel, and with whom you do your traveling.  Always be aware of your surroundings.  And NEVER ignore your intuition. 

Until next time, be safe.  Be smart.

PINS (pre-incident indicators)

Sorry for the hiatus.  Life got a little complicated for a couple weeks.  I'm back now and ready to give you the info on PINS (pre-incident indicators).

In my post, Intuition, I share a story from Gavin De Becker's book "The Gift of Fear."  In the story, a woman named Kelly ignores her intuition and nearly dies at the hands of a serial rapist because of it.  Read that post if you haven't already (or again to get it fresh in your mind).  I'm going to walk you through step by step to talk about each of the pre-incident indicators in the story.

 "We get a signal prior to violence," Gavin says. "There are preincident indicators. Things that happen before violence occurs."  

The first sign Kelly receives is minor but important.  She dislikes the man's voice.  Intuition was sending out a signal that something wasn't quite right.  In this case, as you recall, the man had been waiting in the apartment building before Kelly entered.  Her intuition was reminding her that she latched the door behind when she came inside.  Distrust him! 

Next, the man offers to carry up her groceries.  This is loan sharking, a PIN.  If she gives in and allows him to carry her groceries, she will feel she owes him a debt, so to speak.  He will collect in any way he sees fit.

She refuses more than once, but he continues to insist that she allow him to carry them up.  Discounting the word no is another pre-incident indicator.  He claims he is also going up to the fourth floor and is running late due to a broken watch.  Too many details.  Another PIN.

He implies that she is being too proud.  Typecasting, a PIN in which the man tries a slight insult with the hope that his victim will wish to prove it inaccurate.  Kind of like reverse psychology.  In this case, it works.  She allows him to carry the groceries so that she won't come across as proud and/or rude.

"We better hurry," he says, "We've got a hungry cat up there!"  This is a PIN called forced teaming.  He says "we", as if they were in the experience together.  This makes it harder for the victim to call the shots because now they perceive themselves as part of a team.

She's still feeling apprehensive of the man, but she shakes it off and scolds herself.  He's so nice!  And he's only trying to help.  Wrong.  He's a charmer.  He is attempting to charm in order to control her actions and force her guard down.  Charm and niceness are two other PINS. 

After arriving at her apartment, she thanks him and tries to take the groceries from him, but again he refuses to hear the word no.  She hesitates (a messenger of intuition).  "Hey, we can leave the door open like ladies do in old movies. I'll just put this stuff down and go. I promise."  The unsolicited promise is yet another PIN, and no actual guarantee he'll do as he said, as Kelly learned the hard way. 

It's worth noting that each of the PINS mentioned in this post occur in every day life without sinister intent.  But when the gut feelings and other messengers of intuition begin to stack up along with PINS, get out of there fast!

Pre-incident Indicators (PINS):

•  Discounting the Word No- probably the most obvious PIN.  An average every day Joe will back off when you firmly tell them no, maybe even raising your voice to make it clear you mean business.  They might go away thinking you are rude and strange, but they will back off.  A predator will not.  No means no every single time.
• Too Many Details- people feel the need to provide a lot of details when they are not telling the truth.  Even if what they are saying sounds believable to you, it doesn't sound believable to them, so they keep talking to convince you.
• Loan Sharking- gladly lends one amount, but cruelly collects much more
• Typecasting- when a slight insult is thrown out with the hope that the victim will want to prove it isn't true.
• Forced Teaming- the projection of a shared experience or purpose where none exists
• Charm and Niceness- charm and niceness are used to control you
• The Unsolicited Promise- used to convince victim of intention.  Words aren't a guarantee. 

Until next time, stay safe!