Car Safety

This very morning on facebook, I read the following:

“ALERT! READ! Especially ladies. This happened to my mothers friend in Hamilton county this week. Not a fb story but true!
Friend of moms driving down 106th in an area not really populated. See a guy at the side of the road and as she Slows and drives by him he yells "dog!" Couple of times. Leading her to believe he's looking for his lost dog. Not much farther down the road another man runs up to the road from a small cluster of trees in a field. Waves at her and yells "dog". Acts like he's out of breath as he approaches her car. She did stop but thankfully kept her car in drive and only cracked her window less than half way. He approaches and leans on her passenger door like he's trying to get his breath. Says looking for his little dog but mid sentence and as soon as he is close enough, tries to reach in and open the door! Now luckily her locks do not unlock until the car is in park and she sped off (to hell with his arm!) She drove straight to the gas station and called police. Sheriff came out and told her this isn't the first time he heard this story recently! He said the first guy yells dog to alert the second guy it's a lone female driver!
This is not a rumor or tall tale. I know this woman.
Being an animal lover I would have probably been dumb enough to fall for this and just want to pass the info along.
Thanks!”

The grammar might not be the best, but the message is clear.  Two men are setting a trap for lone female drivers, playing on the instinctual tenderness of the women to get them into a vulnerable position and make them a target.  This is the kind of story that would rattle the news stations and scare the community but here’s the truth:

It happens all the time.

Let’s talk a little bit about how to protect yourself from becoming a victim in this way.  The first thing you need to know is that your car is not impenetrable.  It is not a fortress, but it does offer a layer of protection between you and a potential attacker.  Your attacker has to get through the car first to get to you.  While that is not impossible, your attacker must take some time to do so.  While they are getting into your car, you have a few extra critical seconds to react and make decisions on what you will do.  That being said, if you haven’t locked your door and your windows are down, your advantage is gone.  Notice that the story tells that the woman hardly cracked her window and was able to drive away.  If she had put her car in park or rolled the window all the way down, who knows what would have happened?  Something unpleasant no doubt.  While you are driving, use your a/c rather than keeping the windows down.  This is especially important when your car is stationary (red light, traffic jam, parking lot).  Lock your doors, whether you are in your vehicle or not.

The next thing you need to know is that you do not have to be a good Samaritan.  Just like the men in the story, predators are looking for someone to fall for what they say.  The post from facebook read “Being an animal lover I would have probably been dumb enough to fall for this and just want to pass the info along.”  It could just as easily have been a lost child, a need for directions to some place, or a flat tire.  I assume you’ve heard of Ted Bundy?  He approached his victims in public places walking with a cane or limp.  He pretended to need help putting something into his vehicle or getting into it.  When the women tried to help, he overpowered, assaulted, and ultimately killed them at a secondary location. 

Also note that there are plenty of predators willing to attack several women together or even attack a man.  They aren’t always opposed to teaming up with other predators to get whatever it is they want.  If you stop for someone, you risk them harming you.  It’s as simple as that.  Someone approaching your car will ALWAYS want something from you.  You need to assume that what they want is more than you are willing to pay.  And because I know that you would feel bad driving past someone that looks like they need car help, I’ll give you this nugget of advice:  pick up your cell phone, phone the police, and tell them where this person is and what kind of help it looked like they needed.  You’ve done your part and kept yourself (and maybe even others) safe.  In fact, unless you know a ton about cars, you probably couldn’t have helped a whole lot at any rate. (For the record, this does not apply to women in need.  Statistically, most violent crimes are committed by men.  Fact of life.)

Those are my only suggestions to keep you safe in a situation like the one above, but there are a few more suggestions that could apply to other situations.

• Draw attention to yourself.  Screaming and laying on your horn are both effective ways to do this.  Obviously your horn isn’t going to fight off an attacker, but it might be a deterrent.  He likely doesn’t want company.
• If someone gets in your car and tells you to drive, get out of your car and make a run for it.  If he’s telling you to drive, it means where you currently are located is not a good place for him to commit his crime.  He wants to take you to a secondary location, which you should never never NEVER allow yourself to be taken to!  He isn’t likely to chase you when you run for fear of drawing attention to himself.  And forget the car!  It isn't worth your life.
• Don’t sit in your car to balance your checkbook, touch up your face, or make a telephone call.  If you are in your car and your car is stationary, you could become a target.
• Do not allow a strange man to help you with your groceries.  Unless he works at the grocery, don’t let him take bags out to your car.  Certainly never accept help from a man that approaches you in a parking garage or outside your home or apartment building.  If you must get assistance, ask another woman or at least pick a man not volunteering his services.  The odds of you picking a serial rapist at random are very slim.  The odds that the strange man that approached you and offered to lend a hand is a rapist are considerably higher.
• If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger side.  This decreases your risk for abduction.
• Park under a streetlight if you are out at night or if it will be dark when you leave.  It's another deterrent and not fool proof.
• Have your keys ready in your hand when you get to your car.  Get in and immediately lock the doors.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for an escort out to your vehicle if it is dark or you feel uncomfortable.  Mall security guards would be happy to do that for you, or even an employee from a store you just left. 
• Most importantly, PAY ATTENTION TO INTUITION AND BE AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS! 

Until next time, folks.  Be smart.  Be safe.

Survive the Unthinkable: A Total Guide to Women's Self-Protection~a book review

The following is a book review.  

Tim Larkin is a well known name to self defense.  He’s a behind-the-scenes name, in that he teaches groups like the U.S. Border Patrol and the Navy Seals.  I was pretty excited to read this book, but I was disappointed.  On the cover, it claims it is a total guide to women’s self-protection.  It’s less than 200 pages.  How complete could it be?  I’m offended that you can call something a total guide when there are so many facets of self defense to think about. 

Disregarding the obvious title failure, Larkin gives the reader some things to think about.  He teaches you to think like a predator, causing you to realize that sometimes self defense isn’t enough.  Sometimes you are the one who needs to make the first strike.  Larkin addresses concerns that many women have about defending themselves, such as aversion to causing harm to another human being.  He points out that that is exactly what makes you human, but your aversion is your weakness and exactly what your attacker is counting on.  Taking that approach is playing right into his hand.  He also presses that the most important and useful tool a woman can have is her own brain.  That, my friends, is a truth that too many women overlook.  That being said, he turns around and then pretty much says, “Use your brain.  And now you’re set!  Go live your life!”

I don’t recommend this book to the novice (maybe a paragraph or two would be truly useful to newbies), unless you have an interest in psychology.  The section that teaches actual physical self defense is all of about two pages long.  Like I said…not a complete guide.

If you are interested in teaching self defense, I would definitely recommend reading this.  If for no other reason, Larkin has a no bullshit attitude about violence.  He lays down the facts without caring what you are going to think about them. 

I have a recommended reading section in the left column of this blog.  Notice that Larkin’s book didn’t make the cut. 

Until next time, folks.  Be safe.  Be smart.